A million reasons to visit Aceh

Is Syariah Islam a tourism draw card?

An interlude

The Visa Runner's guide to Malaysia will continue later (Part 2: The Indonesian Embassy will be much shorter than Part 1, I promise).

But for now I must post about the excellent news that the ALP won the election! I don't have anything thoughtful and fascinating to say about it but didn't want Where is Sarah? to let it pass by without acknowledgment (this blog is an important record that will be looked at by historians in decades to come...obviously).

Moving right along here is a really grainy photo of me striking a really stupid pose to show off my new hair (the window is in the frame because I wanted to include a bit of fancy hotel room, but it didn't work).














This is what it looks like when I wake up in the morning! No brushing required. Go toxic chemicals! I can wash it and leave it to air dry as well. Finally I have low-maintenance hair for a low-maintenance (read: lazy) person.

The visa-runner’s guide to Malaysia Part 1: Food

On Tuesday I went to KL to get a new Visa. I stopped over for a few hours in Medan which doesn’t have a lot of charm but it does have Starbucks.

Yes, I know. I can already hear your disapproving groans. MJ has already given me a formal written statement about multinationals (it’s true! I can supply it on request) but come on… It has wireless! And Peppermint Mocha!

Christmas has hit Starbucks in a big way and they’ve introduced limited edition Christmas drinks.

I’m pleased that the good people of Starbucks didn’t let the ‘most populace Muslim nation in the world’ thing stop them from implementing their Christmas marketing strategy in Indonesia. The fact that non-Christian Indonesians don’t seem to give a fig about Christmas makes it an even more courageous move.

So when I went to Starbucks to waste four hours of transit in Medan, I just got a little Christmas cheery! Because I am not going to be all ‘bah humbug’ about it, I won’t discuss just how hideous the drink was and how crazy and shaky it made me go.


After checking into my hotel in KL I went out to eat something. In anticipation of KL food I hadn’t eaten all day and was seriously starving. So I ducked over to “ONLY MEE!” a cutesy noodle shop and ate Ginger Chicken and Prawn Dumplings. PRAWN DUMPLINGS!

Here is a close-up of the dumplings.

Unfortunately my return to dumplings wasn’t great. I got violent stomach cramps about 10 minutes after leaving and had to go back to hotel and curse Indonesia for destroying my stomach forever (not sure of the connection between Indonesia and stomach cramps, but I sure wasn’t going to blame the sweet sweet dumplings).

Day two involved a morning of running back and forth between the Indonesian Embassy and my hotel so it was almost midday before I got to eat! Fortunately I found another multinational coffee chain to patronise. This time it was DOME which aims to be the classic French café but…everywhere in the world. In addition to a tasty ginger tea I ate a sausage roll. A chicken sausage roll.

You are going to be shocked when I tell you it wasn’t scrum-diddly-umptious. I know! I thought so too! Actually the real surprise was just how tasty the tomato chutney was. I got a generous serve so I smothered the sausage roll and mostly cover up the taste. Sadly, I didn’t feel super after the sausage roll. At this stage I began to think my cold/cough might be more to blame than Indonesia for my poor belly performance. I didn’t eat again until the Sushi King at about 9.30pm that night (Salmon Bento, no photos, 6/10).

Day three started with a three hour stint at, you guessed it, a multinational coffee chain. This time it was the Coffee Bean. Here they had free wireless and tasty bagels.

The tragedy of my trip came into sharp focus this day. Again I didn’t eat until dinner time and I realised I had gone three days without eating three meals a day! In KL of all places! So I guess I really am sick. Anyway, the meal was wanton mee! If you know me well enough to read this blog, but don't know about my pure love of all things wanton/dumpling/dim sum-ish (foods in parcels if you will...I also love ravioli) we need to hang out more. Preferably in Chinatown.

That night I went to sleep thinking about spaghetti bolognaise and schnitzel and it occurred to me that in all this time I hadn’t eaten any western food. My body craved! And gosh darn it if I wasn’t going to listen!

I began day 4 on the wrong foot eating the hotel breakfast. Not delicious. So I moved right on to earl grey tea and email at the Coffee Bean. After some shopping and more embassy mucking about I went where I was sure to find western food: the fancy new shopping centre Pavilion (because KL needed another shopping centre).

As a rule I hate food courts (unless they’re so dirty that it’s like going on safari, then they can be fun). But Food Republic at Pavilion changed my feelings towards food courts forever. It was shiny and new, it had comfortable seats, and every food stall looked delicious! Well, they all looked delicious with one exception: the food stall imaginatively called “Western food”. I didn’t take any photos of the very old or plastic food (I couldn’t tell) they have on display under gladwrap because it seemed mean to make fun of someone’s food stall, but I will say that there were chicken sausages in everything.

*Chicken sausage and potato

*Chicken breast with potato and chicken sausage

*Spaghetti bolognaise with chicken sausage

So I ate Thai instead. Here is my Pad Thai Chicken and the ‘Italian Soda’ I had for lunch.

The Italian soda was my shout out to western food for the day. Or so I thought…Until dinner time....

Yes, I actually ate at the Outback Steakhouse. To answer the question you are all asking: yes it was terrible.

Deciding what to order was a dilemma. It seemed appropriate being the day before the election to order the Prime Minister’s Rib Eye. Or in honour of Kevin Rudd, the Queensland pasta but how can you choose from so many hilarious-sounding and hideous-looking foods?

I opted for the ‘Mad Max Burger’ and the ‘Bush Walker’s Dream’ smoothie. The Mad Max burger came specifically with American cheese. I don’t know if that’s a comment on Australia booting Mel Gibson to America or maybe it’s recognising Tina Turner’s contribution to Beyond Thunder Dome.

Did you notice something about that photo? How about the giant knife?!

I put the chip on it to provide context but obviously chips come in a million sizes. If this was a skinny fry this knife wouldn’t be that big at all. Anyway, this knife made me think of the “you call that a knife?” scene from Crocodile Dundee, which seemed an appropriately Cheesy Australian thing to think of at Outback Steakhouse.

Bye bye Outback Steakhouse. Fortunately in your grossness there was nothing Australian about you other than the names on the menu.

I lied about the previous post being the last one about animals.

This week I'm in KL to get a new visa and have many things to post about. But there doesn't seem to be a lot of sense in sitting in a cafe writing about how great KL is while in KL. So I will just briefly mention one more animal experience I had last week in Banda Aceh and then I will go shopping (which I realised I hate. I like having stuff, but I sure don't like choosing it and I especially don't like paying for it).

So far I have shown you an elephant, baby frogs, a crusty old goat, ducks and a puppy. You're probably thinking "yeah, the elephant was pretty cool, but really I can see those other things anywhere". But can you see this everyday?!














Yes, it's a real tiger. It's in a cage but this wasn't taken at a zoo (thankfully Banda Aceh doesn't have a zoo. The current governor of Aceh was in jail until the tsunami knocked the walls of the prison down and he escaped...so imagine what would have happened at the zoo!) Actually I don't know what the place keeping the tigers is. Maybe a police station or something...I couldn't really tell.

This tiger has been caught because he didn't have the common sense to refrain from eating humans. Well tiger...HUMANS FIGHT BACK! If you want to eat 8 people in a village in southern Aceh we'll capture you and then...well, actually no one knows what to do with him.

• He's protected so can't kill him.
• He keeps killing humans so can't really leave him in the wild.
• Would you be his keeper in a zoo? No, didn't think so. Can't really put him in a zoo.
  

Two other tigers are here at the moment too. A tiger-catching craze seems to have hit Aceh in a big way. Lots of people come and take a little look-see too.














I stupidly forgot to take photos of the ice cream stalls, the sate stalls, the fairy floss stalls and whatever other junk a kid might scream about that have been set up for the crowds visiting the tiger.

If anyone has any ideas of what to do with the tiger I can pass them on to the governor (who probably doesn't like keeping the tigers in cages because it reminds him of his past).

OK, I'm off to shop.

Hit me baby one more time

If you thought the posts about baby animals were over and done with, I plead with you to forgive me for one more. And you won't believe what animal is featuring today...

....Frogs!

Last week when it was raining a lot, I found a teensy little frog in the office. I caught it took it outside. Amir, one of the security guys saw that I really liked this little frog, so when I went outside later he proudly displayed all the little baby frogs he'd KILLED!

Obviously I yelled at him and even though he thought I was hilarious and dumb he felt guilty. No surprised there. Baby frog killers always show remorse. So he collected lots of little frogs for me to play with!














Unfortunately, the little fellas move awfully fast so I have a lot of blurry photos capturing the moment.














These photos aimed to demonstrate how little the frogs were. But then I realised my hand is freakishly small and in no way a reliable benchmark.














I promise to post about something other than baby animals next time.

P.S Did you get mu hilARIous heading? I know, I'm gifted.

Binkie's film debut

Cute animals and babies: the serious business of going on mission

I still get a kick out of calling taking a trip to another town "going on mission". Whoever came up with that term knew how to make regular life sound really important.

Day 1: From Banda Aceh to Bireuen
I saw an elephant. Yep, don't need to tell you much else because it doesn't get cooler than that.

















Actually, on day 1 I did other stuff that even rivaled seeing an elephant (whose name is Binkie...as if you didn't already guess that).

We also visited a local women's NGO, LINA. With a very small budget LINA is doing many things including teaching women how to use computers and speak basic English. An impressively high percentage of the women who go through the training go on to work in government offices and local development projects which is great for two reasons:
1) They have gained meaningful employment
2) There is a greater representation of women and hence they might be able to represent the views and needs of women in the local area.

One of the women took us home to her village which had been off limits up until just a couple of years ago. It was a centre of activity for GAM (Free Aceh Movement) during the conflict. This woman (who could have actually been a girl, she looked very young) had even fought in the conflict herself. At the village we were met by the head of the local Pesantran (Islamic Boarding School) and other village leaders. Not the kind of opportunity you get every day!

To top off a great day we had a seafood dinner that was tastier (and cheaper!) than anything I've eaten in Banda Aceh.

Back in the hotel, I found this great sign:









TO BE PAID ATTENTION TO:
1. One room chamber is only agreed to 2 (two) people
2. Payment in the face of/at the time of check in
3. Small goods and money, securities kept and taken care of by person
4. Clock expiry 14.00 WB pass from the clock counted/calculated by 1 (one) full of day
5. [Is] not agreed to bring the alcoholic drink, cold steel, dangerous objects, penginap can be released from hotel of if generating atmosphere is not balmy
6. All loss do not become the unrightious responsibility of hotel

Day 2: Bireuen and Lhoksumawe
In addition to helping women get jobs, LINA also has a kindergarten! I was glad we visited first thing in the morning. 50 kids counting to 10 in the loudest voices they can muster will wake anyone up. Did I mention their cute uniforms?!














After another busy day of visiting, this time to great NGO is Lhoksumawe, I called my friend Dedek and we went out for dinner. The photo below is blurry but it's the best I had of all three of Dedek's kids. Her baby loved me! She thought I was hilarious. The oldest girl loved me too...until I showed her (in the middle of a restaurant) how Binkie the elephant danced for me. She was SOOO embarrassed.














Day 3: The Widow's Kampong and back to Banda
Our last business before we returned to Banda Aceh was to visit a village known as the "widow's village". We had been told it was called that because many of the village's men had been killed in the conflict. Turns out that's not really true at all. Apparently the Indonesian soldiers in the area gave the village that name as a kind of threat. Well, the name stuck, so I guess it worked. Here is a photo of some women from the village working in a field.














I knew I was going to have fun in the village when a man started yelling "orang putih, orang putih!" (white person, white person!) when he saw me in the car. Just like the kids in the kindergarten, the kids in village were great posers for photos because nothing could distract them from staring at me.














After meeting and talking to the women in the village for a while it was time to head back to Banda Aceh.

Now, I love the UNIFEM driver, Pak Halim, but in all fairness he nearly killed us. And he was driving responsibly because my boss and I were in the car. To remind me just how risky driving here is, we saw two guys come off a motorbike when a car rammed the back of them. I've travelled at some breakneck speeds in my time, but nothing I've seen compares to Aceh drivers. For that reason I was glad to be home.

As they say in the classics, penginap can be released from hotel of if generating atmosphere is not balmy.

A sneak peak

I ran out of time to post today which is a shame because I have so many exciting things to talk about after three busy days in Bireuen.

Here is a hint to keep you squealing with glee (oh wait, maybe that was just me) while you wait.

On mission

I'm going 'on mission' for the next few days so I'll post again on Thursday.